MANN BAWARA... the other side of the story ....

[ BEFORE YOU READ-
Its my request that if you haven't read the first part of the story, then before reading this post please read the first part of the story ie MANN BAWARA.. CLICK HERE !]

She was standing there. The surroundings were glitzy. There were fancy lights shimmering all around. He was standing in a corner with a simple torch of love glowing in his hands. She didn’t look at him. Among all the glitterati his torch looked trivial. Everything was fun and hip. Then suddenly she felt someone was coming from behind. She turned around and saw a huge cloud of darkness throbbing its way towards her. Everything and everyone who come in its way was destroyed. It was not too far away from her and it could devour her anytime. She ran for her life, she ran wherever she could. She was gasping for breath, her heart was thumping hard, and her throat went dry. She couldn’t run anymore the strength of darkness was too mighty to escape from. She let it take her into its embrace. Now, there was darkness and only darkness all around. All the glittering lights were gone. They were too weak to fight with the devilish darkness. She looked around. She found a door which was partially open. A thin beam of light was coming out. She knew from where the light was coming. It was his torch of love. Only his love had the strength that could fight the darkness. She ran towards the door. She held the knob of the door to open it completely. She wanted to go inside; she wanted to be with him. But just when she was opening the door she saw a bright shining light far away. It was just the way she wanted it to be. It was alluring. It was fascinating. It promised success, prosperity. It was her aim. She was still holding the knob of the door. Her aim was right in front of her, she couldn’t give it up. But what about him? His aim was different. ‘How can we walk on the same paths? now I think I love him. But what about my aim. What should I do?’ her inner self was throwing thousand such contradictory questions on her. But she had to take a decision... a tough one indeed. She closed her eyes, bit her lips and shut the door with a bang. She looked at the closed door one last time and then went away. She knew her aim. She could see it clearly. But she was still unhappy. Now she knew her happiness lies with him. But then she had already taken the decision. A decision which had left her alone on the dark paths. She felt helpless. She once again looked at the closed door. It opened. He came out. The torch of love was still glowing. He came and stood beside her. “Let’s walk” he said. 'Why is he so bloody nice to me? I can’t let him suffer with me’ she thought and shouted rudely at him- “I don’t need your support. Go away”. But his eyes were still firm. “I am not here to lend you any support. I’ll just give you company. Moreover it’s quite dark. It’s difficult to locate paths. I have the torch. It will help… US” he said calmly. He held her hand. She felt a surge of confidence inside her. He gave her strength. He became what she needed the most – a companion. They started walking on the paths which slowly started illuminating with the torch of love glowing. On the way he showed her the light coming from his goal. Slowly but steadily the 2 goals were merging and the light was brightening. By the time they reached the destination they found that their goals have merged. The small torch of love had forced the 2 large bright lights to move towards each other and midway they merged. Now it wasn’t her goal or his goal…it was THEIR goal. They together entered the world of their dreams. It wasn’t glitzy but was pleasant. There was happiness all around. she felt as if a huge burden has been lifted off her shoulders. She felt light. She felt relaxed. In his firm arms she felt secure……..

Her eyes opened. She was feeling a heave of tranquility inside. She never knew that she’d find a solution to her dilemma in her sleep. She was going to meet him that day to clear air over a hundred misunderstandings and thousands miscommunications. Now, she knew what she’d say to him. She’ll give this relationship a chance. ‘I am not scared. I know he loves me and always love me . I know he’ll never hurt me we will always be happy together’ she said to herself. She came out of her room. It was Sunday and her father was at home. He was having a hot tiff with someone on phone. She knew who it was on the other side of the phone… her brother. The quarrel was heating up. Her father shouted – “Shut up! We are teaching you on donation in a private collage, spending all our hard earned money on you. What more do you want?” and banged the receiver on the phone. He was fuming with rage. He saw her and shouted – “what? Your sleep is over or you want to sleep even more. What’s there in studies right! Go on do whatever you want. Roam here and there, party, enjoy!.” She was in tears she ran into her room, and dig her face into the pillow and cried bitterly. She cried and cried. ‘What’s my fault? ‘Why did papa shout at me?’ She was thinking and crying. After few minutes the door of her room opened. Her father came in and sat on the bed. He placed his hand on her head. She wasn’t looking at him. He said – “Beta! I’ am really sorry. I should not have talked to you like that. There’s no fault of yours. Actually I’m so stressed and to add to that your brother has become a loafer. He’s not studying anything. We had spent all our life’s savings on him. And I’m helpless. All my hopes are on you. Study hard beta! I know you are working very hard and I have complete faith in you. I know that you won’t let me down. In this age there are a lot of distractions. Don’t get carried away. you very well know how your brother spoiled his life because of a girl. Just take care of yourself. Keep working hard”. He patted her shoulders and left. her father never said such things to her. but as fate would have it he said only that day. Her state of mind was back to square one. The dilemma resurfaced…
At 12.00 she reached the ice cream parlor where they had decided to meet. He was already standing outside. They went inside without speaking a word and sat on table opposite each other. He was looking at her firmly. She couldn’t meet his eyes. She was looking here and there, to avoid eye contact. After few minutes of silence she said – “I’m feeling hungry”. He felt irritated but composed himself. ‘What do you want’ he said standing up. “No no, you sit I’ll bring some chips”, she said and before he could say anything she stood up and went to the chips stand. She stood there for few minutes staring at the chips. After some time she, picked up a packet of ‘lays’ and started examining it as if she was seeing it for the first time. She put it back and took out another packet and then another and then another, till there was no other flavour left. She took 10 minutes to get 2 packets of ‘lays’. He was already very pissed off but he anyhow controlled his temper.
- “Say something”. He said
She bit her cheeks and with great courage she said rudely – “I have nothing to say. You called me. You say something”.
- “Tell me one thing. What do you exactly think about me”.
- Nothing. Nothing at all. And I don’t want to think about you or anyone else”. She said maintaining the rudeness.
- “Then what was that when you said you are having a soft corner for me”. He said, still firm.
- “Did I tell you that”.
-“ No. But you told your friend who told me”.
- “The biggest… biggest fault of mine was to trust her? Anyway why did you believe her? I didn’t tell you anything myself”. She said completely realising how ridiculous the statement was.
- “Are you mad! What are you saying? Someone comes to me and says that you love me. She’s your best friend. Isn’t it but natural that I would believe her”.
-‘Why don’t you understand. I can’t love you”.
For a moment he felt someone was stabbing him to death slowly. But he composed himself and said-
- “Fine. Who’s forcing you to love me? But what’s with the attitude? Look, I quit the idea of us being together long ago. I know that there were still some feelings for you inside me. Now you can’t expect everything to wipe off in a minute right! It was you who started everything all our again with your soft corner talks. But its ok. I understand. I’m still not forcing you for anything. But why can’t you talk to me like we always did”.
- “I don’t like your friend”. She said again conscious of its bizarreness.
- “But I guess he’s your friend too”.
- “Yes. but not anymore”.
- “Fine don’t talk to him, but what have I done”.
- “Look, the truth is I can’t face you”.
- “But why? What’s my fault?
- “No it’s not your fault. Why do you take everything on yourself? Look let me clearly tell you this - ‘I am already disturbed, please don’t hassle me more. I have nothing against you but I just want to escape from everything and everyone. The only thing that matters to me is my aim. ’ She said with a straight face.
For a few minutes, they didn’t say anything. He was still puzzled over what exactly was the matter with her. Only a few days before they had talked and she was very nice to him... to the extent that she was feeling very guilty that she gave him the vibes that she’s got feelings for him. He’d also soothed her calmly that he didn’t take it wrongly, and that it wasn’t her fault. There were just a few misunderstandings and to clear them he had asked her for a promise that they’d sit someday and talk and find answers to all the questions. But this meeting raised even more questions instead of giving answers. And as for her, her eyes were dry but she was crying bitterly. She was looking firm butt she was shattered. Only this morning she decided that she’ll take their relationship a step forward and now due to the sudden turn of events, she had to do all these terrible things. He asked her again with a sigh-“look I’m asking you for the last time. What’s exactly wrong with you? Why don’t you want to face me? Please explain me properly.” She answered back in the rudest tone possible but still not looking at him –“ I don’t find a need to give you any explanations.”

He couldn’t sit there anymore; he felt insulted and was suffocating. He stood up, picked up the packet of chips she had brought for him, went to the counter paid, said something to the shopkeeper, dumped rather trashed the packet of ‘LAYS’ into the dustbin and went to his bike. He paused for a moment… and laughed at his miserable fate. His eyes were moist. He kicked and sped off. Meanwhile she’d also come to the door of the parlor. She saw him disappear into the end of the road. He didn’t even turn once. He was gone. Now she could cry. She did just that. She started leaving shop, tears still flowing out uncontrollably. Just then someone called. She turned around. It was the shop keeper he said a bit hesitantly (she was crying hysterically) – “10 rupees madam. That guy gave only 10 rupees. He said from now on he won't pay for you
.....................................................................................
-by prashant

[DISCLAIMER- THIS IS A PURELY FICTIOUS PIECE OF WORK AND BEARS NO RESEMBLANCE WITH ANY PERSON OR SITUATIONS. ANYTHING OF THAT SORTS IS COINCIDENCE .]

MANN BAWARA ....

There are some moments in life when you wish the time would clot, and everything would freeze...

Everything around was looking so beautiful. i was sitting with her on a winter evening in the vast stadium with not a single person around. The sun on the brink of setting was throwing his warm mild orange rays, enhancing her beauty manifold as if he was kissing her goodbye. I was jealous. I was jealous of the cool breeze that was flowing and caressing her silky hair. Her cute little fingers were stroking the threads of her hair. She was looking angelic in her deep maroon salwar kurta. Her face was glowing and eyes were shimmering like always. She was saying something I wasn't listening to but was constantly nodding. I just couldn't concentrate on her talks. Her eyes were so captivating and beauty so engrossing, how could I focus! She was saying something like -" I slipped and fell at... Something something... every body started laughing.... something something...” and burst into laughter herself. i love that innocent smile of hers. She stopped smiling and said - "it’s so cold here yar ". I was wearing a jeans jacket and as the situation demanded, in full filmy style I took it off and put it around her shoulders. She hesitated and said - " are why are you giving me your jacket, wouldn't you feel cold. Idiot ...”. I interrupted -"shut up and wear it "I said looking straight into her eyes. Her eyes protested but mine were firm and they had to surrender. This wasn't the first time she hesitated taking my help. But every time i had to surrender. But that day I won. ‘Good omen ' I thought. 'It’s your day. It’s your moment. Live it ' I heard a voice from inside. We both were looking into each others eyes. For the first time in last four years I could see that her eyes were darting mine with same feeling as mine were darting hers. It was the moment i was longing for, for the past 4 years - when I’d see love for me in her eyes. This was the time for my desire to explode once again. I closed my eyes took a deep breadth and said those magical words - “I LOVE YOU “. This was the third time I was proposing to her. She’d already rejected me twice. But I loved her. All the unfulfilled desires that I kept suppressed inside were emerging. My eyes went moist and slowly tears started rolling down my eyes. I let them flow. She took my hand in hers and gave me a warm smile and then kissed my hands. I got my answer. My joy knew no bounds, but I didn’t leap or shout with joy. I kept looking into her eyes , and let our eyes do all the talking ...

“Why did you take so long to say yes?” my eyes were asking.

-“I was confused. I thought this relationship would lead to nowhere. I was scared that I would not arrive at the destination in life I wanted to, if I say yes to you. You know we have different goals and aspirations, different thinking and all. So I thought we should better walk on different paths. But while walking on those paths I realized that I was losing something, something very important. I was losing love. I was losing you. And now I am no more scared, because I know that you’d always be there for me, and we’d together walk on the paths of life and find ‘our’ destination. We’ll together nurture new dreams and find happiness not only in reaching destinations but in walking on the paths of life too. I’m sorry you had to wait for so long” I could hear her eyes answering back.

-“it’s worth it.”

-“I hope you understand.”

-“yes I do.”

Like this for countless minutes we were silent and our eyes did all the talking. All the dilemmas were erasing. All the wounds of the past were healing. We let it happen. After a long time I finally broke the silence. “Can I say something?” I said, still looking into her eyes. “Yes?” she said expecting something romantic again. “I am freezing” I said shivering. She burst into her innocent laughter. And then gave me a mischievous smile and said-“this jacket is quite large actually” and twinkled her eyes. She opened her arms. I went close to her very close, and in a few seconds our bodies and souls met. We were hugging each other tightly, scared of losing each other. We both immersed ourselves into the blissful moment. All the desires were flowing out like a volcano. I sensed that she was crying. I pushed a little and saw tears in her eyes. “What happened?” I asked. “I am sorry… I am really sorry for what I had done with you all these years.” She was saying and crying. My eyes also went moist. I tried to console her –“It wasn’t your fault. Everyone was right just the situations and circumstances were all wrong.” But she went on –“I knew that no one can love me the way you do, but still was scared to accept that even I love you”. Tears were rolling down my eyes as well when she was saying this. “Sshh...” I said and gently kissed away her tears that were marring her beauty. We were inexplicably close. The temperature outside was dropping, while inside it was soaring to a new heights and in the momentary spur of emotions our lips locked. At that very moment the night floodlights came up! ‘Good omen’! It felt like heaven. I thanked god. Deep inside I heard a voice saying –‘when you really want something the whole universe conspires for it to happen’. I got the love of my life. She was right here with me safe and secure. Yes I had to wait for 4 long years, but this moment is worth it. We moved back a little though the sweet taste of strawberry lipstick was still lingering on my lips. We were so shy! For a few seconds we couldn’t look at each other and when we eventually did, we started laughing. I took her in my arms. The jeans jacket was large enough to accommodate both of us. That was the first time I was grateful to my mum for buying me an oversized jacket. Next we were strolling around and talking about simple things which seemed so beautiful...

-“I didn’t know you use strawberry lipstick”

- “it’s not lipstick its lip gel idiot”

-“Whatever... You girls use so many things!”

-“I don’t use it often, I just applied it today.”

-“ok.. so you came with a plan of kissing me.. huh?”

-“shut up it was you who kissed me..”

-“by the way how long did our kiss last. I mean if someone asks...”

-“shut up!!!”

Our voices started getting lower and lower, and we started fading into darkness. In a few seconds we disappeared into the darkness...

I couldn’t see anything but darkness. I felt chocked as if someone is stalking me. I was suffocating. My head was throbbing as is someone is hammering it. In frenzy I woke up gasping for breath. Yes it was a dream. Everything was a bloody damn dream. The situation was exact contradiction to what I saw in my dreams. Everything was hopelessly dark and terribly gloomy. She was nowhere around. She was far far away. I was already troubled after that day’s meeting with her where she had said bluntly said that she had never loved me neither will. She wanted to concentrate on her future her career and she had no place for things like love in her life. ‘I am already disturbed, please don’t hassle me more. I have nothing against you but I just want to escape from everything and everyone. The only thing that matters to me is my aim. ’ Her words were echoing in my mind. I wish escaping was as easy for me as it was for her. And to add to this entire nuisance was that bloody dream- a shattered one. I don’t know why the hell we’re made to see the dreams that are bound to shatter. I was crying. ‘She’ll never love you’ my inner voice again started its idiotic blabber blabber.

-‘then why can’t I stop loving her?’

-‘its fate! You can never get rid of her.’

-‘to hell with fate! Enough! I am not going to cry over her anymore! There are plenty of beautiful girls around. Life’s too long to lose hope so early and too short to keep cribbing about such things.’

I went to the refrigerator took out a bottle of chilled water and emptied the whole of it. I went to my room opened a drawer and took out my collection of pics of my fav actresses. I zeroed on Hazel (from mp3). I said to my love, rather to myself-“too bad. You missed me. I won’t come back to you, and you won’t get anyone who loves you more than I do. All the best for your boring life. Its time for me to move on!’ . I went back to sleep. I again dreamt of the same dream only this time it was Hazel in place of her… …


READ THE PREQUEL OF MANN BAWARA - CLICK HERE


[DISCLAIMER- THIS IS A PURELY FICTIOUS PIECE OF WORK. THE PURPOUSE OF PRESENTING IT IN 1ST PERSON WAS TO GIVE IT A PERSONAL TOUCH. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY LIFE.]

BLOGS N ME !

Hii frns !! How are you ?? Well I'm writing a post after a long time. You know these blogs consume a lot of time and energy . Hey! don't start imagining me locked in a room with books all around , studying 12 hours a day. I would be the last person to do that ! Actually I'm a bit lazy yaar ! I was also not getting a proper topic to write on. The previous two posts were a bit serious-types , this time i wanted something light. Finally i decided to stop pondering over topics and write whatever comes to my heart. So here i am , writing on my experiences with blogging . Well I was introduced to blogs by one of my friend whose sis was an active blogger. He knew that I like reading and asked me to check out his sis's blog. I instantly like blogs . First of all I liked that they give you a website of your own , which completely belongs to you . It was a great medium to express yourself and nobody can stop you from doing so, and also the fact that you can follow other bloggers whose works appeal to you. So i created my blog - take it lightly (courtesy: cadburys, i borrowed the phrase from a perk ad ) . I was very excited and was searching for a different topic to write on. Well joker of batman dark knight gave me the idea I wanted , and finally after two weeks of creation of blog i posted my 1st post - why so serious? Thrilled, i sent the link to everyone on my orkut friends list. Needless to say not even half of them visited, and those who did , found it too long and instantly ridiculed the idea reading the whole thing. But can't blame them- no normal guy or gal would read blog of an over philosophical, over analysing freak (as many call me.. but i somehow like the tag..). But still many of my dear friends took the pain to read it . I would like to use this post as a platform to express my deep gratitude to all those who read my blogs and were always supportive in every step of my new venture . Special thanks to shriti, anchit, saraswathy, meenal( she started following it without even reading a single post! she did tat just coz i told her to ) and my bua . The response was quite interesting. My bua who read the blog called me and said - "you have written very well . You have really grown up yaar . It was very hi-fi and philosophical . But i got a bit confused, it was a movie review of dark knight na! I haven't seen the movie so i couldn't understand it very well !" . Hearing this my heart sank . The precise meaning of her talks was - "I couldn't make the head or tail of it ". My article looked like a MOVIE REVIEW !!!! What can be worse than this ! But on the flip side, I got some good comments as well. I got boost up especially when i got an encouraging comment from my frns sis, whose blog inspired me to start my own blog , and i don't know how but someone from bengaluru( i should not call it bangalore , you know the wake up sid controversy ;-) ) read the blog and called her sis who's from bhilai and appreciated it and sent her the link, and surprisingly that sis of her's happened to be my neighbour !!!! It was a good omen to signify that i should go on with my blog . The second article i wrote was- ' tradition vs modernity ' . It was also published in our school magzine. It was straight out of my heart and maybe that's why people found my slamming of tradition and religion a bit too cynical. I got indulged into a good 1 hour debate with an orkut frn who was a harcore traditional. My best frn read it said - " such an athiest you are " . Well i would like to clarify to everybody that I AM NOT AN ATHIEST , but i would prefer to call myself spiritual rather than religious . I believe in a superpower almighty but can't see sense in the hoopla that is created over religion in india. My funda of worshipping god is respecting everyone and everything and not harming anybody since god is eternal and is present all around us. Oops ! I am again getting seroius !! I should cut it right away !!! I don't know whether its a good start or a bad one, but one thing is for sure- I am loving this. Blogs have also made me a bit patient. I have now understood that any new venture, takes a bit of time to settle and people will start accepting it only gradually. Anyway , looks like i have somehow managed to complete my third post which was just a collection of my random thoughts about blogs. i put an end to this by extending my warm diwali wishes to you and your family - HAPPY DIWALI !! .
Cheers,
your's affectionately,
Prashant.